To say I avoid conflict would be a gross understatement. I don't like arguing; in fact, I don't even enjoy a "friendly" debate, mostly because I have yet to experience warm, fuzzy, friendly feelings during such a thing as a debate. Just to make this perfectly clear, I avoid conflict and arguments with the same energy and diligence with which I would have avoided a potential ebola patient while I was pregnant. There are very, very few things that are important enough for me to voice an unsolicited opinion. One of those important things has been in the media quite a bit the last couple of weeks, and I have been silent for too long. I have to say something about babies.
I'm not going to re-say all the medical facts about conception and babies; it's been said countless times in countless ways that a baby has a heart that beats and pumps blood several days before a woman ever even finds out she's pregnant, and I don't need to go into all those intimate, miraculous details again.
I'm not going to go into how history repeats itself and how we look back on things like slavery and the Holocaust and shudder, wondering how society could have ever let something so horrendously gruesome happen while we knowingly murder millions of our own unborn.
No, those angles have been thoroughly and repetitiously discussed. Instead, I want to talk about this as a momma of one precious, busy, smiley little girl. Right now she's playing in a new (to us--thanks, Anna!) Exersaucer right beside me, and in between pushing all the buttons and jumping all around, she looks up at me and---grins. Her whole little face lights up with the most precious of gummy smiles, and, when our eyes meet and she sees me smiling back at her, she giggles and looks at me with pure, unadulterated adoration. Truly this is the stuff of miracles. A year ago from now I was barely in my first trimester, and now we have this beautiful, vibrant, smart, silly 5 month old girl who has her Daddy's dimples, her momma's big bright eyes, and her maternal great grandfather's sticky-outy ears. She is perfect. And I have to ask, how could we ever think that these tiny humans are worthless? How have we fooled ourselves into believing that the babies being aborted are different from this sweet girl who has given me the blessing and privilege of being her momma?
I've heard all of the pro-choice arguments, but I just can't get on board with them. I know parenting is hard; I'm doing it right now. I know it can be expensive; we're a single-income family. I know it requires sacrifice; we're in the middle of that right now, too. I know that pregnancy and childbirth aren't easy. But, above all of that, I know that it is so much more than worth it.
So, if you're currently part of the miracle of life and are expecting a sweet little one, but you're just not sure that you want to be, please, please, don't do anything drastic. You literally have a front-row seat to a miracle; don't discount that. If you're wondering how you can possibly make it work with a baby and feel that you have no one who will help you once your little one is born, get in touch with me, especially if you're in the Charlotte area. I'm a post-partum doula, and I will personally help you with post-partum care, newborn care, grocery shopping, errand running, house-cleaning, meal-prep, whatever you need that's within my scope of practice. I still have a couple of spaces available for my kick-off deal of 20-hours free, so don't worry about cost. In my career as a nurse I spoke with numerous women who said that they regretted having an abortion, but I have yet to meet someone who said that they regretted deciding against an abortion. Don't deny yourself the opportunity to experience first-hand the powerful, life-changing, world-rocking love that only a mother can feel for her child.
If you really can't do it, seriously look into adoption. I know many couples who can't have children who will make incredible parents, and i have had the awesome privilege of witnessing the miracle of adoption. It truly is every bit as miraculous and beautiful as childbirth. Don't deny another woman the miracle of becoming a mother.
If in your past you have had an abortion, please know that there is no condemnation here, and there is always grace.
And, if you've read this and plan to comment something hateful, don't. I'm not trying to start something.
I really do want to help mommas, so, if you're in the Charlotte area and are looking for a post-partum doula, contact me. Or, if you know someone in the Charlotte area who could use a post-partum doula, feel free to share this post or give them my info.